Trends and Myths

     During this first week of class we needed to read about some of the trends that the United States are facing. Some of those trends were: an increase in premartial sex, increase in cohabitation, delaying marriage until later in life, etc. What I found most interesting is that most if not all of these trends started from myths.  

     We as a society place a high value on these myths. That is probably due to the fact that these myths are easier to believe than the reality of what is happening. 

     One myth is that people marry because they love each other. It is true or I hope it is at least. I hope that the person you end up marrying is someone you love. Love should not be the only reason why you get married. In our textbook on page 19 it lists a few reasons about what makes a happy marriage: your spouse is your best friend, you like your spouse a person, you agree on aims and goals, you laugh together, etc. If you have more than love in common then your marriage will last longer and your love will become stronger and deeper. 

     Another myth was that happily married people don't have conflict. If that is the case then tell me how it is done!!! In every marriage there are conflicts. We have had conflicts with our family, friends, and coworkers throughout our life. So why would conflict stop when we get married? In some ways we might have more conflicts in our marriage than anywhere else. Our textbook says, "...conflict can facilitate creative solutions and and increase solidarity over the long run" (pg 8). When people get married later in life it might be harder for them to overcome conflicts. The older you are the more set you are in your ways and the less likely you are to be the first to back down.  

     While these myths are popular we need to realize what they are worth--mistakes. If we give into these myths than we will be regretting our decisions later in life. While we like the dreamlike quality that these myths give us, the reality of how real life works will make us happier in the end.  

Textbook: Marriage & Family: The Quest for Intimacy (7th Ed.) by Robert H. Lauer and Jeanette C. Lauer